Lemon's Top Five Strong Female Role Models for Young Women, Fictional Category

When you’re complimented on something, how do you take it?

I haven’t been paying much attention to how my guy friends do this, but among the ladies, it’s very common for them to say thank you and accept it, but very uncommon for any of us to believe the nice things that are said about us. We hear them, but for a lot of us, actually incorporating them into the way we view ourselves doesn’t even really seem like an option. Everything bad or mean we hear or think about ourselves gets stored away forever, but the nice things don’t stick for more than a few minutes.

I should note that when I say “we,” I mostly mean everybody else, because I actually have no problem with this (most days). I take compliments as confirmation of all the awesome things I already think about myself. There’s a whole other set of problems associated with that, of course (borderline arrogance?), but I have to say that I think it’s incredibly important to teach young women to view themselves as deserving of the praise they receive. They need to know that the good things have just as much validity as the bad things, and even if they want to choose to filter them a little, it is an absolute outrage that so many young women are incapable of believing anything truly good about themselves. The constant comparison to other girls, celebrities and images in the media, as well as the overwhelming cultural emphasis on appearance make it so that no compliment about looks ever really rings true, and no compliment about anything else matters.

I credit a lot of my skill in this area to books. Find characters you relate to, respect them, and it gets easier to respect yourself.

I was recently home in Seattle after surprising Papa Lemon for Father’s Day, which meant that I was with the half of my books that don’t live in Portland. And it seems like as good a day as any to talk about some of the books that made it possible for me to believe that I am smart, funny, and deserve respect. I will also credit my parents, of course, because they probably have more to do with my self-image than the books do. But I do consider these books influential, and I think it’s maybe even more important for young women than for anyone else to be able to find themselves in books. It helps them see themselves as valuable, and gives them something to relate to in a positive way. So. Here are my Top Five Strong Female Role Models for Young Women (Fictional Category).

1. Ella, from Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine

This story is a retelling of Cinderella in which the protagonist has been cursed since birth with obedience. The fairy who made her this way meant it to be a good thing-- girls were supposed to be obedient. But of course this can be abused, and Ella spends her whole life finding ways to be herself in spite of it. Of course eventually she falls in love and has to figure out how to break the curse so she can be with the Prince (which involves saving the kingdom, in an entirely relational sort of way).

It wasn’t until thinking about this recently that I realized how incredible this story was. When I was a little girl, I loved it because it was Cinderella. Now I love it because it’s about a young woman who knows she needs to make her own choices in a situation where she can’t, and she fights to be able to do what she wants, which is to protect the people she loves.

2. Cimorene, from the Enchanted Forest Chronicles by Patricia Wrede

Also a sort of twisted fairy tale set-up. Young Lemon was not as widely-read as adult Lemon.

In this quartet, Cimorene is a princess who just wants to do things that are interesting. But princesses, in this world, are typically beautiful, vapid and constantly plotting ideas to put themselves in harm’s way so they can be rescued by a prince or an industrious knight. Cimorene wants more than that. She wants adventure, which she gets, of course, and ends up saving her true love, their son and entire kingdoms in the process. She’s badass, and these books are hilarious.

3. Hermione Granger, from the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling

Harry Potter would have died in book one if it weren’t for Hermione. Everyone knows that. At the very least he’d be stuck in that chamber with the logic puzzle and the potions until someone else came and rescued him. She’s the brains and nothing would get done without her. Still, she has to go through a process of learning to accept herself. She’s always been smart and hardworking, and her fellow students kind of hate her for it. But everyone grows up and moves on to worrying about more important things, like Voldemort living inside her best friend.

Oh, and that’s another thing: Being with Harry and Ron all the time puts Hermione in kind of a boys’ club, which is fine, but she keeps up healthy female friendships as well, which completely baffle the boys.  Hermione is the only one among them who completely understands the importance of how someone feels, which is something they learn from as the series progresses-- they wouldn’t have been able to find the Horcruxes without Hermione’s ability to empathize. I’m going to stop now. Don’t let me talk about Harry Potter.

4. Anne Shirley from the Anne of Green Gables series by L.M. Montgomery

Not typically feminist, I’ll give you that. Anne’s story includes the fact that at the time she couldn’t be married and have a job, among other forms of oppression. But here are a couple of things that put her on my list:

1) She goes to college. Lots of her friends went to school so they could be teachers, which is all well and good. But women, for the most part, were not going to college then. She was the first girl from the Island to get a B.A., and she didn’t let anything get in her way-- not lack of money or gossipy old women or homesickness.

2) She doesn’t let anybody stop her from being who she is. Her caretakers expect a boy, and the girl she turns out to be is entirely overwhelming to nearly everyone around her. But she stays who she is, with her insane imagination, her exuberant love for everything and everyone, and, of course, the hair. She’s unapologetically herself, and she finds her place because of it.

3) During a recent reread, I was struck by the emphasis on Anne making her own way. She’s repeatedly told by the most important women in her life that it’s important for her to be able to make her own living and not rely on a husband, that she is capable of as much as any man, and that even though falling in love is a wonderful thing, she is loved and valued whether she gets married or not.

5. Meg Murray, from the Kairos series by Madeleine L'Engle

Most popularly, Meg is the star of A Wrinkle in Time. She’s brilliant in some ways and an idiot in others, and she grows into a capable, confident woman as the series progresses. But she does not start out that way, which I think was my favorite thing about Meg growing up. She gave me hope.

Meg has to rescue her father in her first installment, her brother in the second, and the world from nuclear war in the third, all with help from friends, family and various fantastic creatures along the way. She’s one of my favorite fictional protagonists of all time, exactly because she’s so relatable: her failings and strengths are both very real. She never quite knows exactly what to do or how to solve the problems in front of her, but she knows that it’s important to value every person, to love, and to encourage a sense of worth and purpose in everyone she meets, which always gets her there eventually.

There are my recommendations, if you’re looking for books to suggest for your sisters, nieces, young friends, etc. Happy reading!

  -Lemon